The Poetry Fix News
| VOL. II, ISSUE 17 | July 5, 2004 |
Clearly My Cheese has Slipped Off My Cracker...
Or it's the bravest thing I've done in a long time. Four weeks ago, I walked into my boss’s office (actually, she was sitting in my office but it reads better) and handed her my resignation. This was not a frivolous or rash decision (I’m a Capricorn – that is not possible). I had been contemplating it for months and I had finally settled in on a date. I’ve worked at this agency for thirteen years. In that time, I had made my way up the ranks, gotten my Masters and eventually earned one of the top spots in the agency. From the outside all seemed really good – even perfect. But the agency – like my life - had been going through significant changes.
I found myself becoming restless and even fearful in the last year. My biggest fear was that I would look up and find myself there for 20 years. Now, don’t get me wrong - this place has been great to me. I damn near grew up there. I have received every opportunity to allow for my success but…
after 13 years I was not the same girl who had walked through their doors. I had different dreams now and I found myself compelled to follow through on them. I didn’t want to look up in another 13 years and realize I had not had the kind of life I dreamt of. So in late April, I started hatching my plan. Of course money would be a major factor in this transition. I had purchased a house in the last year, finally brought the car of my dreams, and I had those nagging student loans hanging over my head. I didn’t want to lose all that I had worked for. Truth be told – I had a good non-profit job (one of my friends said I should stop saying that because it is an oxymoron.) all my needs and some of my wants
were generally taken care of. I know some of you (like my mother) are saying “couldn’t you do your little dream thing on the side and still keep your job?” I guess technically I could have but in reality I could not. My job is very labor intensive. Pagers, cell phones, panicked calls at all hours of the night. It is nothing to pull a fourteen hour day. By the time I get home, I am dog tire. Also, this current situation was easy and comfortable. I could almost do the thing in my sleep. At some point I realized that “comfortable” was not going to get me any closer to the kind of life I really wanted to live.
I want to be a full time poet and performer. There, I said it.
STOP ROLLING YOUR EYES!
Seriously, that is my big dream. I want to get in my car and drive from venue to venue and read to the people.
Make connections with folks. Teach workshop classes to girls who thought they had no voices.I wanted to finish my CD, land a good fellowship, publish a book, finish my latest screenplay and go to the gym. So on June 1, 2004, I told my employers that I was giving notice. They were stunned and refused to accept the resignation for another week – in hopes I would change my mind - I did not. Now, since that decision - don’t think I haven’t woken up at three in the morning staring at my ceiling and thinking “girl, you must be high!” My boss says I can change my mind anytime but I won’t. I have to do this for me. And although this is all uncharted waters, at my core, I believe I will be fine. My family and friends have been super supportive and have actually been a well of information and encouragement. Just today one of them said “a whole bunch of people, with less talent than you, have been successful.” I think that was a compliment!
So as my time grows to a close at my agency (July 16th is my last day) and I sure up my “plans”, I have been trying to steel myself for my transition. I am in the “last” stage right now. I attended my “last” admin meeting on Friday. I will have my “last” set of
supervisions at the end of the month. I will write my “last” evaluation the first week in July. But I am also realizing that I am leaving behind a whole gang of people that I have become very fond of. I will remember to give myself permission to grieve my separation from them and hope I will be able to maintain the friendships that were developed during these last thirteen years. On the other hand, I am also very excited. I can’t wait to see what’s around the bend. I am already doing some featuring (most recently in Atlanta – Jesus! that place is hot) and I have had some request for me to facilitate a few workshops. By my calculations, I have about six months of savings and I have until January to work my little plan. So from here - I will keep believing that everything is going to be alright and hustle my butt off.
So that’s what’s happening in my life what’s going on in yours?
Sisterspace and Books Update
from Faye and Cassandra
Peace and love beloved community of sisters and brother.
We’re still here! We’re still on the battleground at 1515 ‘U’ St. N.W.! We’re still praying, organizing, negotiating, going to Court sessions, seeking investors and believing that EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT!!! Meantime, the stay of eviction has been lifted. The Marshall’s have their marching orders. We have ours! (Don’t panic, we will know in advance and we will notify folks as soon as we do know). Financial contributors, we appreciate your support. We will return your money if we know that eviction is certain.
Of course we are dealing with a lot over here at Sisterspace and Books. We are not able to respond to every call, every e-mail, every letter. Please know that we have heard yall, we feel yall and we believe yall!
*Please contact the following to express your opinion that we should stay on ‘U’ St.*
Daniel Sanchuck
DPS Consulting
9487 Canary Dr.
Bel Alton, MD 20611-3012
Telephone: 301/609-8918
Telephone (2): 301/392-3620
Email: dpsanchuk@comcast.net
Steven O Hessler. Esp.
Hessler & Associates, Charter 729
729 Fifteenth Street, N.W. Second Floor
Washington, DC 20005
Telephone: 202/393-8100
Email: soh@sohoesq.com
G. Timothy Leighton, JD
Leighton & Mobley, LCC
802 North Clinton Street. Suite 1
Bloomington, IL 61701
Telephone: 309/328-7600
Fax: 309/ 828-7616
Email: timesq@bloomingtonlaw.com
Jim Graham
John A. Wilson Building
1350 Pennsylvania Ave. N.W., Room 406
Washington, DC 20004
Telephone: 202/724-8181
Fax: 724-8109
mail: Jim@grahamwone.com
Kevin Chavous
John A. Wilson Building
1350 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W. Room 402
Washington, DC 20004
Telephone: 202/724-8068
Fax: 202/724-8097
Email: kpchavous@dccouncil.us
Email(2): cgrant@dccouncil.us
This edition is filled with all kinds of activities. The call for submission page is especially packed. So as always - dive in and find something to do.
Michelle
She asks me why I only write of sad things.
I tell her I only write the truth.
And when joy enters my life
then I'll write about that.
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